Drunken Dilemma
by hatedinnocence03
Summary: If you've read my fanfic 'Ivan's Gift' you already know how funny a drunk Dimitri is. Ever wondered what Rose would do when she'd be smashed? Well, this is your chance to find out. Read on and have fun with our favourite dhampir(s). Enjoy! Disclaimer: I don't (sadly) own VA, Richelle Mead does. The characters are hers, but this plot-line is mine :)


"Your hair is sooo shiny, Comrade!", Rose slurred cheerfully, twirling a lock of hair that had escaped from Dimitri's ponytail around her fingers.  
"Thank you, Roza", Dimitri chuckled in an undertone, shifting Rose so she was cradled in his arms more securely (and no longer pulling on his hair), making his way towards their apartment. Dimitri was shaking his head indulgently as he walked, thinking over his evening and at the same time, returning wry smiles to the grins coming his way from the Court guardians and a few friendly moroi along the Court promenades.

The evening had started off normally enough. Rose and he had joined a few of their colleagues for dinner at a restaurant and then moved to the new pub on Court to dance, drink and play darts. Rose, ever the life of the party, had not only imbibed about half her weight in alcohol, but played darts blindfolded (and surprisingly scored quite a few 'bull's eye', something she was almost incapable of doing sober) and even taken to singing karaoke and dancing on tabletops. Dimitri had watched first in amusement, then in comic horror, as Rose went about her evening, and he had refrained from drinking and dancing, only participating in playing darts and chatting with a few friends, all the while keeping an eye on his inebriated girlfriend. It made him happy to see her enjoy herself and at the same time, it made him cringe at the thought of the massive headache that awaited her on the other side of her soon-to-be-coming hangover.

Only when Rose began to sway unsteadily on her feet (still singing karaoke, or well trying to slur her way through some pop lyrics while belting some 70's disco moves that Dimitri had no idea that Rose had known) did Dimitri call an end to her night. Scooping her up in his arms, and earning catcalls and bawdy suggestions about how to continue the night, Dimitri walked out of the pub, feeling scandalized by his peers. Rose thinking they were cheering her, shouted enthusiastically right along with them. And as Dimitri made his way towards their home, Rose struck up a conversation-of-sorts with him.

"Oh, don't thank me. Thank Olena, she's the reason you have such nice hair. And eyes. Your eyes are soo pretty. And brown, like chocolate. Mmm, chocolate", Rose sighed dreamily, continuing their dialogue, and snuggled closer to him.  
"You have beautiful hair too, Roza. And the most beautiful eyes in the world", Dimitri replied gallantly.  
"But I'm short.", Rose pouted. "I am sooo short. I'm like a hobbit, except hotter. You think I'm hot, don't you?"  
"Anyone with working eyes would think you're hot, love", Dimitri affirmed affectionately. "But I think you're beautiful, both inside and out. Not to mention drop-dead gorgeous and sharp-witted too.". He paused for a breath before adding in an undertone, "I think you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Aww, you are soo sweet, comrade!", Rose giggled, pinching Dimitri's cheek before placing a kiss against it. "Everyone thinks you're so macho-man and emotionless, but I know better. You're so nice and good to me. You're gentle and you're like a-like a…a bone-marrow!"  
At that, Dimitri had to stop walking. He literally stopped walking and looked down at her to see if she was in earnest. "I'm what?", he asked her incredulously.  
"Bone-marrow", Rose giggled, nuzzling his neck. "My beautiful, thoughtful, protective bone-marrow."  
Before Dimitri could muster a reply to her incredible declaration, Rose spoke up again. "I have an idea. Let's make some babies, Comrade!", Rose intoned brightly.  
"We can't, Rose", Dimitri replied sadly, unable to repress the stab of yearning he felt. "God knows I wish we-"  
"Don't be sad, Dimitri. I know", Rose replied semi-solemnly. "But we can still have fun trying. And who knows, maybe someone forgot to mention something to everyone and no one thought that it would matter, but it does and someone will have a-wait! What was I talking about?"  
"No clue, love", Dimitri, chuckled bemusedly as he pushed his back against the door of their apartment building to open the doors.  
"I'm so sleepy", Rose pronounced with a yawn.  
"Hang on Roza, we'll be home soon"

Silence presided for a few peaceful moments, as Dimitri walked up the staircase and fumbled with the door-lock, before Rose sighed, "I wonder what happened to him?"  
"Who?", Dimitri asked as he walked into their bedroom and helped her into her nightclothes. Meaning he did all the work, while she leaned against him, clinging to his neck, already half-asleep.  
"The black sheep, of course", Rose mumbled back, settling into bed and hogging the blankets.  
"Huh?"  
"Baa baa black sheep. They took away his wool, and then what? Did they kill him and make a lamb stew out of him, or did he die of heartbreak, alone and wool less, or did he live happily ever after?"  
"I-I-umm…", Dimitri struggled to come up with an answer, but his mind blanked out. But it was fairly unnecessary, because Rose continued her sleepy drunken musings. "And what about the little boy down the lane? What if he was allergic to wool? And really what would he do with wool? What if there was lice? Was the sheep trying to kill him or something? My god, Dimitri! The sheep was trying to kill the kid! We have to inform the guardians! Call Hans now!"

Dimitri stared at her open-mouthed a few moments before he recovered his wits. He assured her that they'd inform Hans together the next morning, and Rose mumbled her assent (and called him a good kid), then turned on her side and immediately fell asleep. Dimitri shook his head in disbelief and went about the room, undressing for bed and reviewing their very surreal conversation.

As Dimitri settled into bed beside his snoring girlfriend-who, by the way, had cocooned herself in all the blankets-he wondered whether she'd remember their conversation tomorrow.

Apparently not.

She woke up the next day with a splitting headache and a memory that ended at betting on her blindfold-darts odds. (Parenthetically, it should be mentioned that she won around $150 in bets for playing darts, blindfolded and scoring so well). And Dimitri kept silent about their 'little' chat, sure that she'd look at him as if he were senile if he repeated the incredible-things she'd spouted last night. He fetched her aspirin and cheeseburger, her favorite hangover remedy, and cared her back to health.

And evermore he wondered how the hell he resembled a bone-marrow.

**This was kinda inspired by a line from Drabble-122 from my Moments series. Hope you liked it! **

**PS-Dilemma is not spelled 'dilemna'. Did you know that? I didn't, till spell-check corrected me repeatedly and Google set me straight. My whole life is a lie *gasp***

**Now that we're done with the theatrics, don't forget to review. Cheers! :D**


End file.
